Four Weeks Without My Mama

I never knew what it was like when people talked about missing someone so much that they couldn't breathe. Well, I know that feeling especially well...in fact, it's been an all too-regular occurrence over the past few weeks. It's been unusually hard to catch my breath today, though, as I've been picturing what I was doing exactly four Wednesdays ago. And as I picture that, I picture the major events in my life I have to go through in the future without my mom....graduation in four weeks, job searching, meeting potential future husbands, planning my wedding, having children, etc...as well as just the every day conversations and experiences I miss so much it hurts. I didn't even know it was humanly possible to feel like this. Ever. One of the things that probably makes me more sad than anything is that anyone new I bring into my life doesn't get to experience her.
As bad as I hurt, though, life goes on. Although bitter at first about the recent discovery of how busy I'm actually going to be until the end of the semester, I'm coming to appreciate my mind being temporarily occupied. I should probably just tell all of you right now that, until May 7th, I'll be MIA, camped out in Club Bracken.
On a brighter note, I got an invitation in the mail to a senior's dinner for those graduating with academic honors. I had no idea I was even part of that group, but hey, I'll take it! I know my mom would be beside herself and make me go, so I decided I'm going to go and take my aunt to be my mama for the evening =).